Resolute Courage EP-4 ‘Connection’

[podcast real-time, unedited]

00:01

Hi, I'm Melanie Jean Burke, and it's gosh is late tonight and I just have this desire to talk about connection. And this is the resolute courage podcast or vlog. And I want to, I want to share with you about hearing. I've been deaf for over six months now. And when I say def, I mean literally, I can't hear anything out of either air. And you know, I remember I remember a long time ago, someone telling me that when I pray, I'm speaking to God. And when I'm meditating, you know, that's when God has the opportunity to talk back to me and answer me. And I've been I just realized I'm a little bit out of the screen here. So like I said, I'm really new at this I'm actually using an iPad, new biped that I got. So I'm not quite familiar with some of the features on it. So um, but going back to hearing I remember that when my life was so busy and there was so much noise around me didn't realize I never realized how much noise there was around me there was beautiful noise and then there was just volumes of distractions and really loud annoying obnoxious noise all around me and I worked so hard to quiet my mind meditating and you know, walking in nature and you know, just breathing and and all of the things that we're taught to do or that I was taught to do, or that if you look online on how to buy your mind, you see a lot of the same techniques and I tried a lot of them so what happened for me was that it takes a lot of energy to quiet the mind. Well, because you have to kind of on me hear everything that's going on around you. While being deaf, I've learned that I don't hear anything. And so it takes a lot of energy to to connect with what's going on around me I'm constantly forgetting I'm deaf and I'm seeking to hear things and interpret things and communicate and it's exhausting Not to mention you know, very emotional I get I still get emotional I don't think there's a day that's gone by that I haven't cried over some some sound that I miss or or some sentiment that I don't hear or I mostly I miss music and laughter and the sound of my kids voice and my friends and beautiful conversations and um it's hard it's really really hard. I I've come to accept it. I'm in acceptance and I but I'm grieving I'm grieving the loss of my hearing. So what I wanted to share today is that I went from outside what they call air induction a kind of sound or you pick up sounds through the air to being completely deaf and the only thing that sounds a little bit sound but it's not is like a vibration I can feel my bones and my cheek or my by skull vibrate fun. It's not really a sound. But so what happened and this is the part that is is um I guess if you want to call it a gift and being deaf, is that

04:54

my mind I wouldn't say it's quiet, but it's quiet. I mean I don't know what it's do, I can't hear myself think I don't I don't hear I don't think the same way. But I have this sudden stillness. And I don't have conversations with anyone around me because I can't hear anyone. But I have conversations with the divine I have this connection is constant connection with it's that known, you know, I don't know what else to call it, but slike it's like heightened intuition when you just have when you just know something, and you don't you didn't hear it, but you know it? Well, that's all that I have to depend on for communication. And, I mean, I have written communication and that but it's, it's, it's even when you read, it's quiet, you know, there's no sound. And so I have, for the last six months, I've been having a dialect with what I choose to call God. And you know, it's just it's amazing, really, when it's just you and the divine, and that's all you hear. And I worked so hard in my life to hear that. And now that's all I hear. So it has been, it has been a major adjustment because I have this clarity now that I never had before. I mean, it's real time, it's not like, come and go, it's just part of who I am. And so it's, it's changed who I am, how I think and etiquettes it's really disheartening when I have all these new feelings and emotions to, to be able to verbalize it or, or share it because I can't even hear myself talking. So I don't even know what I sound like, I have no idea when I'm saying it's coming straight from a conversation that I'm having in a very divine glaze. And, you know, it's a beautiful thing and I've been making some notes on what different things that I've heard people, different words or different references that I've heard people describe. And it's obviously it's God and but there's an external power source, spirit of nature. Presence, all powerful, greater the power of God, the All Powerful Guide, father of light, spirit of the universe, creative intelligence, Universal Mind, Spirit of nature, czar of the heavens, newfound friend, God consciousness, my Creator My Divine, the great outdoors, a supreme being infinite power and love the great reality realm of the spirit all powerful and when you hear reference when I hear references like that, and I'm hoping that as I share these with you here references like that. It helps you to begin to see that it's there's a, there's a there's a real gift in tuning out. You know, I don't have the luxury of turning it on and off. But if I had known what I know now, I would have worked much harder to more often quiet my mind. I can really relate to the

09:41

to the the universal mind because that's kind of what it feels to me like now in my thoughts. It's not it's not the same kind of thought I used to have. It feels very Divine or universal, it's like I'm having a conversation with the universe, as opposed to an individual, it's like, I'm talking to their spirit, or I'm connecting with their spirit because I can't hear them. And we have to work really hard at finding a way to communicate with one another. And that Blaze comes from, you know, a deep, deep, intimate love for one another. And so, I, I'm very tired at the end of the day, because you know, I'm not sure where I begin and end anymore, I feel very connected to the universe, I feel very connected to God, I feel very gifted for the opportunity to have all of this time with the and the known. Communicate soon communicator, I don't even know how to describe it. It's so profound. But um, so when people ask me, you know, do I dream, I'm, like, I don't know. I, I don't know if I'm dreaming, because I don't sense a change of state. And they asked me if I can hear my thoughts. And I'm like, Well, I do, but they're like, in the moment, and it's not like, I forget things. Not that like that. But it's just everything is so real. And so now that that's all that I hear is the here and now. And I don't think past or present, and future kind of thing. It's, it's like my life is in real time. Technicolor right in front of me. And all of this is happening without any sound, but it's it's like, the most beautiful sound there is because there's no sound. So I'm not making any sense. I just, I just wanted to share that, you know, what if? What if? What would happen if I wish I had known how I feel now, then earlier, I would have worked really hard. I mean, I did work hard, but I wasn't consistent about it, I would have developed a ritual to declutter my life on a frequent basis. Like sounds, I didn't like conversations that are hurtful or, you know, just things that I didn't need to listen to, I would have eliminated a lot earlier in my life. And I would have listened for the sounds of the known because I, I, I believe we can have both and that were gifted with both and when one when the when the ears the hearing part is taken away. We're left with compensating other parts of our brain is my brain works so hard. It's like it's I the best way I can explain it when I tell people is like, you know, when you have a phone and you're in a remote area, and you don't have Wi Fi but your phone is looking for it. So it spins. And it's like my brain is constantly spinning for some kind of connection. You know, so I have no idea what I'm saying. All I know is that

14:18

I'm reminded of my near death experience. Well, it wasn't even like a near death experience is more like a transcendent experience. 2009 And I remember in that state that I was in, I kept hearing hallelujah. It was like the whole universe was this beautiful orchestra and every sound of every thing every living thing was animals, creatures beings. were singing in perfect harmony and peace Perfect. At a perfect sound, it was Hallelujah. And I didn't have years I wasn't conscious of my ears. I wasn't conscious of airing, I heard the known choir of the Divine. And so when I lost my hearing, I'm frustrated because it's really hard to communicate. Yes, I'm disheartened because, you know, there's so many things I'm not able to do without a lot of effort. And some things I can't do at all right now. I'm learning sign language, American Sign Language and have scheduled for bilateral cochlear implants this in the next 12 months. And but I remember I, I, it wasn't coming from my ears, it wasn't coming from air induction or conduction, whether it was the divine sounds there sounds in places that I never knew you could hear. And so I have been spending the last six months appreciating that there's a whole set of sounds and vibrations that are that are so beyond what the human error is capable of hearing. And I don't even know how to explain it. But I do believe that we're better human beings. I'm a better human being. I believe that people who I know practice meditation and quieting the mind and listening for the known, that known voice or that known energy. You know, we're more peaceful and we're more connected. So I don't know. What if it were that easy that we just decide we're not going to use our ears right now. And we're just going to listen for the sounds of the universe. And and listen to what what it's being communicated to us. That's on a whole different frequency. So anyway, um, I think I'm rambling. I think I'm on screen here. I can't tell and I want to thank everyone for listening and supporting me and going through all this. And I've thought I hope that helps someone out there to just you know, what if you could just just think a hair pasture errors? Just listen, pasture ears. You know, what would you hear today? What would you hear right here or now? What would you hear that you're not hearing? And how could you use that in the right now? What could you do with that? That's that's what I wanted to say today. So thank you for listening. Again. This is Melanie Jean Burke, and I will catch you the next time. I sit down to record. Okay, bye.

​​Transcribed by https://otter.ai